Mountain of Madness (I'm kidding, it was fun)

Sorry I kept you people waiting I had a lot on my mind over the past several weeks but here I am again. Anyway, this isn't a review of an H.P. Lovecraft story this instead is me and my scout group adventures on Mount Robson. In August I got to head down to B.C. to Robson, a provincial park with a hiking trail supposed to be second to none and let me tell you it lived up to the hype.  Fun fact the very peak of Mount Robson wasn't seen for 65 days so it was a sight to behold.

When I arrived at the foot of it's gorgeous peak, skepticism flew south for winter and that was just the icing on the cake. We weren't going to simply hike up the whole trail & back that was reserved for the suckers in the other group, instead we got fly up in frickin' helicopter, sparing us the agonizing hike up.

After settling down at out campground at Berg Lake we took the luxury of hiking up to Toboggan falls (not that were sledding down it any time soon)

 and admiring all of God's delicate work and relishing in the bounty.

*chuckle* am I right

 A little ways up when came across a cavern; we probably wouldn't have ventured far if another group hadn't told us about an opening a little ways in that allowed us to venture deeper into the cavern until we chickened out at least. I learned something that little detour: iPhones make good spelunking tools.

Also on the way back down, my father got to teach me the one of the most most essential tools a male could learn: the farmer's blow (as long as no one's around to look at me in disgust). After that we reached our campsite and settled in for the night but not before posing at the B.C.-Alberta border, though I can't decide which is better.

Anyone one want to flip a coin of pick apart flower petals

 After a nourishing breakfast of fruit cups and cinnamon flavoured oatmeal, we headed out to our next camp at Whitehorn. Along the way we got to stop at a couple places some people won't see in their lifetimes including Berg Lake and Emperor Falls. Berg Lake earned it's name because next to the lake is a glacier that constantly has ice chunks fall into its frigid waters that look like icebergs, earning the name Berg Lake.

A few hours later we met the other scout group all sweaty and exhausted and had lunch together. When they were asked if they could do the same hike again they said they would prefer the other group.

After that we headed down to emperor falls, one of the best known falls in the provincial park, in fact the best known waterfall. It truly a sight to behold if you were brave enough the handle the spray, I mean you could stand near it for a few minutes and come out looking like you went under the waterfall itself (but who's that flippin' suicidal).

We then made it to Whitehorn and camped for the night. Thankfully the next hike was the last and let me tell you I was relieved. When headed down a no less scenic trail and finished off our little adventure with a well deserved trip to Miette hot springs and the welcoming sights of wildlife.

Do you think this is healthy for them  to lick the salt under the vehicles?

Houseboating: a Memoir

Last week I got to go to Shuswap lake, a remarkable body of water in the Okanagan area. But I wasn't going there like the typical Thunder//Waterton lake experience; we were going houseboating! So there we were heading off to BC but not before a night's stop at Lake Louise and an enjoyable watch of Criminal Minds. After another scenic drive we arrived at our destination and had some locally made ice cream while we waited to get on board the most memorable boat named ever coined in the nautical world that I've heard so far: No Bullship *giggle*. So that was that and we were off to enjoy the wonders and memories that awaited us. After a good night's rest we awoken to head to the next cove but not before getting supplies from a floating store (DREAM JOB!) When we sailed into the cove we were fascinated at the sight of hundreds of trout just swimming to where we docked, some over a foot long. So that inspired us to go fishing for the next three days with successful results. The days went by being hasted by the activities of sliding, fishing, reading and some nasty Swimmer's Itch. I got to read Ian Fleming's Casino Royale and Live and Let Die, continue my hobby of completing sudoku puzzles watching John Wick (the morality isn't high don't see it,) and discovering my passion for digital solitaire. Unfortunately we had to leave the area and move on though. The next day we had the joy of heading on a hike to see so beautiful falls (not me I was already a victim of heat exhaustion at the time but dad made me go anyway *grunt*.) The hike was decent, the heat; whoever is in charge of the weather there, GET HIM SACKED! So i headed back on my own much to the expense of my family who was concerned about my whereabouts and state of health, but I made it through just fine. A couple days later we headed back home but not before stopping at the spiral tunnels where just to our luck a train trekked through with perfect timing. Hopefully next time my parents won't go there sans enfants/teenagers.

My 10 favourite vacations

Hello internet I'm back once again. Now as you must know from the blog, my family loves to go on vacations, if that isn't already obvious enough, so why not make a list about my favourite trips? We're doing this based on a concoction of memorability, overall fun I had, timelessness, etc. 

So without further ado, here we go.



Number 11


Marmot Basin


You're probably wondering why the best winter vacation I had is so low. Just goes to show how much wickedly epic vacations I had. There's nothing more pleasant than just racing down with the fresh powder beneath your feet, the occasional anti-avalanche explosion, seeing the very summit itself and the wide variety of trails, twists and turns to choose from. It doesn't stop with skiing as there's a wide variety of activities wildlife scenery and dining to make your day a feel like a journey to paradise.


Number 10

Egypt

"Steele you Bonehead, this list is bolshevik because you put a once in a lifetime trip like Egypt in frackin' 10th." Oh for the love Sodom and Gomorrah people you got to respect people's opinions for what they are. Now before you send the hate mail clogging my account, I'll kindly explain why this isn't any higher on the list. Now listen it was fantastic, I mean, come on how many people get to see the Pyramids, the Sphinx, the Nile, and the Egyptian museum in one day, but that was the problem, it was only for one day. There's so much to do, yet so little time. Also even though the riots scared of the crowds of tourists, there was still the desperate vendors to do that job, so desperate that I was nearly abducted by a camel rider. You happy now? Good, moving on.


Number 9

Northwest Territories

Venturing away from the equator for once is this beauty. I travelled there when my sister was in Hawaii, and let me tell you it was fantastic. There was the scenery, historical sites and dining but the best part was the fishing. At first this was an attempt to teach me patience (that failed miserably.) As I caught fish like every 5 minutes or so and awe-inspiring lengths. It's also where I caught that 42 frackin' incher that had had the guide rushing for the scale. 
Number 8

Hawaii

The first stop on the around the world in several weeks trip, and let me tell you it was an utter blast. Snorkelling in the oceans, trying SUP for the first time, celebrating Independance Day by watching Independance Day (the movie with Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum) and jumping in a cage and watching the Galapagos Sharks swim by. I also can't wait to go there in thanksgiving.


Number 7

London

Now, I come from a line of British, Scottish, and even Norman royalty. So it would make sense to go to England, and that's what we did in our last around the world vacation stop. We got to see Buckingham, Westminster, the Nelson memorial, the Great Fire of 1666 memorial, the Churchill War Rooms, Big Ben, the London Eye, Globe Theater, Tate Modern and last but most certainly not least, THE Imperial War Museum. Need I say more?


Number 6

California

Sure there may be a drought and all that BS but who cares, the vacation was fantastic. As you seen in the post 'the Ultimate California Vacation' my trip to the (former) Bear Flag Republic was one that created many lasting memories. Monteray Bay Aquarium, PB&J soda, Oakland Temple, Alcatraz, The Golden Gate Bridge, Deep sea fishing, bow riding dolphins, Seal Beach, Elephant Seals on the Pacific Coast Highway, Sea Lions, 4th of July fireworks. It has it ALLLLL!! One of my favourite visits the US. 

Speaking of...
Number 5

USA Roadtrip

My first vacation south of the Border was one also worth mentioning. After crossing into Montana, I had NO idea of what great times the next few days were go. Jackson Hole, Yellowstone National Park, Grand Canyon, my second taste of California (I went there one time when I was 2), Hoover dam (I wasn't 'anti-cursing' that time), and freaking Salt Lake City. There was just one minor downside; FRACKIN' SIN CITY (I'm sorry a temple and the thousands of mormons do not outweigh the millions of lustful, alcoholic, psychotic, money-wasting sociopaths. Number 4

Barrhead & Magrath

Now this might be one of the less exotic on the post, so why is it so high up? Two words; sheer timelessness. There's just something so special about having nature surround me as I walk into the welcoming homes and arms of my grandparents. With the wildlife eyeing you at every turn, the calming lack of frantic city chaos. The inviting waters of both Thunder & Waterton lake all make up a recipe for paradise.
Number 3

Turkey

I'm practically quarter-blood turkish so why not this beauty (heh, quarter blood; it's less than half.) As if having a hotel only a minute away from the Blue Mosque wasn't fantastic enough, we also got to see the Naval Museum, Hagia Sophia (to the delight of my sister who also bears the latter name) Turkazoo, the Egyptian Obelisk, Topkapi Palace, Snorkelling in the Mediterranean Sea, and having a cave hotel while in Cappadocia. What could be better? Only the next two.

Number 2

Thailand

I bet you if heaven is going to resemble ANY place in the world it would be Thailand without a doubt. After an energy draining airport wait at Manila, it all paid of when we reached Bangkok. Agh, where to start?!  The Elephant Camp in Chiang Mai, Sightseeing in Bangkok, snorkelling in the Indian Ocean, the butterfly gardens, a fish farm, the Golden Triangle, a small tour of Laos, Emerald Pool, and the Bridge on the River Kwai! (Still need to see the movie.) Now you're wondering what could possibly be better than that.

Number 1

Utah


Sure it may have any of the stuff on the previous ten locations, but spiritually it tops them all. It warms my heart to walk on the hallowed ground of the Utah temple and see General Conference in PERSON, and doing family history in the FHC. Also much of my church friends and their fathers (my mother and sister couldn't come along) had the pleasure of going there in a motorhome! 

Thanks for reading I'll see you next time.

Top 10 Book of Mormon Antagonists

Hello people of the world, I'm back once again for another top list. Now as you must know, no work of fiction, (or non-fiction for this matter) is complete without a classic tale of the typical good vs. evil.  There's plenty of it in this work of art. So it's my pleasure to introduce Steeleopedia's Top 10 BoM Antagonists. *dun dun dunnnnnn*


Number 11

Sherem

Jacob 7

Kicking off the list is an Anti-Christ, and get used to it because he won't be the last. Around the time of Jacob he appears out of nowhere and tells the world that, there is no such thing as a Christ, nor there ever will be. When the prophet gets word of this they had a debate until Sherem demanded of sign of God. With one lift of Jacob's arm, he's struck down and dies later. Then everything was back to the way it was.

If only it were that simple for the rest on this post.


Number 10

Nehor

Alma 2

*Sigh* another freaking Anti-Christ. I'll tell you why this tops Sherem. In Alma chapter 2 he shows up saying that there IS a God and saviour...

but in the end everyone will be saved. So basically there's no such thing as Hell. Now the (obvious) reason why it's so bad is because what's the point in being good if you be raised into heaven anyway. Now let me tell you something his temper was as short as his honesty. A man by the name of Gideon basically calls him a fraud and Nehor doesn't take it so well, so he cuts him down. He's tried for his crimes, found guilty, and executed. However even though he died, his teachings did not. His followers then persecuted the saints and dissension was ripe. They even went to form the city of Ammonihah; which went well (that's sarcasm, they went the way of Sodom and Gomorrah and were destroyed.)


Number 9

Amlici

Next up is a dissident; as if they didn't have enough of those. Amlici was a very respected man by many, a celebrity of his time if you may. Then he thought: "Hey, I'm so bloody popular, I should be frickin' king!" Unfortunately for him because it was a democracy, they had to have a vote, and to his surprise, they voted him out. In a flurry of anger he assembles an army to take over the country by force, and not surprisingly he loses. Twice; with the last battle killing him. Oh you just wait, the bloodshed gets worse from here.

Number 8

Zerahemnah

Alma 44

Yet another warmonger. In Alma chapter 31 when the Lamanites and Nephites were at each others throats, this general rose up to take the challenge of conquering Captain Moroni's army.

SPOILERS; he loses. At the Blood-Spill of the River Sidon (as I like to call it) the two armies met with uttermost ferocity. At first the Nephites have the upper hand seeing that they had better armour, to which the Lamanties had forgotten it entirely. But then the Lamanites start fighting like dragons as the book calls it to the point were it doesn't matter, and start routing their enemies. If it wasn't for the inspiring righteousness of Moroni, they might've lost the day. The Nephites have Zerahemnah's army surrounded and demand an end to the slaughter. He refuses and attempts to kill the captain, which fails, resulting in the literal and symbolic cutting of and falling scalp. Seeing they don't want to fall as the general's hair complexion, they all retreat into the wilderness, and peace is restored

Number 7

Laman and Lemuel

1st and 2nd Nephi

Ahhh... now let's go to a classic source of conflict. Freaking sibling rivalry. Around the time when Lehi and his family left into the wilderness to escape Jerusalem to flee to the American Continent (starting the Book of Mormon events) two of his sons weren't so happy leaving everything they had. They hardened their hearts against there father and brother Nephi, and a series of incursions, from open criticism to physical harm. When they reached the promised land, things took a turn for the worse. When Lehi passed away, Nephi received the entitlement of a prophet, and founded a great nation of good people. His brothers were envious, so they broke off with other people and founded the Lamanites with one goal in mind. Take Nephi and the Nephites DOWN! Thus setting of the chain of events that make up the rest of the book.


Number 6


King Noah

Monarchs; what would we do without them. That's was the idea going into everyone's head after this guy took the throne. After his benevolent father passed it was his turn to run the country. I bet the father must've regretted it looking down on him in purgatory.  The man gave the Nephites a bad name with an insatiable appetite for wealth. The taxes were highway robbery, demanding a 1/5th of their gold, silver, grain and animals. It wasn't until the prophet Abinadi came along that his rule started to wane. After a trial far too elaborate to get into now, and a change of heart by one of Noah's priests (Alma) the King had a change of heart as well, until his jury stepped in. So the prophet was burned; quite literally. Thankfully, the King met the same fate at the hands of his servants.

Number 5

Korihor

Alma 30

Oh boy, now were really getting to the heavyweights. The final Anti-Christ on this list, and by far the worst. In Alma 27 he emerges from the cracks of hell saying...

THERE IS NO GOD, NO CHRIST, NO HEAVEN, NO HELL, NO AFTERLIFE; RELIGION IS A LIE!!
He was basically the so called humanists of his day. Because he claimed there's none of the above there's ZERO accountability, NADA! It's scary as heck if you think about it. Worst of all, his teaching continue to thrive to this day!

Thankfully he met his end when he demanded a sign, and he got one; in the form of not being able to speak. Then trampled when begging under the feet of the Zoramite jerks.

Speaking of...


Number 4

Zoramites

Alma 31

The next chapter after that predicament, we get to these boneheads. Originally not to bad, they fell away much to the disdain of God. When Alma investigated this, his heart basically skipped a beat. Once a day they would go to their synagogues and say this travesty of a quote...

15 Holy, holy God; we believe that thou art God, and we believe that thou art holy, and that thou wast a spirit, and that thou art a spirit, and that thou wilt be a spirit forever.

16 Holy God, we believe that thou hast separated us from our brethren; and we do not believe in the tradition of our brethren, which was handed down to them by the childishness of their fathers; but we believe that thou has selected us to be thy holy children; and also thou hast made it known unto us that there shall be no Christ.

17 But thou art the same yesterday, today, and forever; and thou hast elected us that we shall be saved, whilst all around us are elected to be cast by thy wrath down to hell; for the which holiness, O God, we thank thee; and we also thank thee that thou hast elected us, that we may not be led away after the foolish traditions of our brethren, which doth bind them down to a belief of Christ, which doth lead their hearts to wander far from thee, our God.

18 And again we thank thee, O God, that we are a chosen and a holy people. Amen.

Even worse,  they would say it over and over and over until everyone has said it once...

YES, EVERYONE! It's the SAME EVERY TIME!! Another chronic sin is they have a hatred of the poor and basically treat them like dirt; even though they build the churches there in the first place!! They're basically the Wall Street of their day.


Number 3

Amalickiah

Alma 45-48

Ugh, another bloody dissident, and by far the lowest. After the defeat of Zerahemnah, he appears just after the peace was restored and basically decreed that the church was false and began swaying the people's hearts to him. However Cap. Moroni came along decreeing the Title of Liberty (their version of the Constitution saying he's of the devil and wishes to destroy everything the people stand for which sparked a personal vendetta by Amalickiah. But the rogue fled with his followers and used lies, treachery and deceit to convince the Lamanites to go to war; AGAIN. Unfortunately he was successful, and his actions sparked a brutal conflict that lasted years and claimed many souls. His legacy was so evil, even his freakin' BROTHER joined in; which went well (sarcasm.)

Number 2

Ether 13-15

Coriantumr

Now before Lehi and his family landed in America there were actually people to do it before him. Called the Jaredites- after the prophet Jared- they set out to sea after the Tower of Babel debacle. They founded a civilization that lasted for generations; until it fell under the sword. A wave of sin set into the hearts of the rulers and soon a series of generals eventually led the people to water the ground with blood. Coriantumr was one of them. He tops Amalickiah because it's one thing to lead a nation to war, it's another thing to lead a faction to war...


THAT ENDS IN TOTAL EXTERMINATION!!! The violence was so evil that the Spirit of the Lord LEFT THEM COMPLETELY. That's how bad it was. A prophet named Ether warned him of the tragedy of his ways. He didn't listen; and by the time the fighting ended...

he was the last of the Jaredites. That's right; the last. With no one left to start a anew with he was doomed to a life of sorrowful, regretful isolation. To wander the land as the LAST of his kind. That's just saddening. However one manages to top him.

Number 1

Gadianton and his robbers

Helaman 2, 6 & 8 

By the end of Alma's 63 chapters a new deadly force was emerging. How did it start, it all began on a typical day like any other. Everyone was all peaches and cream...

Until the incident! A man by the name of Kishkumen had murdered the Chief Judge who ran the country, and the nation was in chaos. He and his band relished in the moment of triumph. How could it get any worse? A man named Gadianton came along a took over. Using pacts and 'revelations' with the DEVIL HIMSELF, he turned the country upside down with lies, treachery, murder and corruption. His 'Gadianton Robbers' were basically the Mafia and he was the Godfather; managing to gather a large following basicallt saying "I make you a offer you can't refuse" (Get it?) It wasn't until the time of Christ and when he personally came to the people of the continent, were they faded to legend. But they re-emerged 200 years late, causing the single handed destruction of the Nephites! This secret combination (criminal organization) is THE REASON why he's number 1. Need I say more?

Thanks for reading. I'll see you next time.

Top 5 lycanthropes

Hello people of the internet I am back with another top list. 

You must know that I adore mythology to the ends of the earth. I recently pick up a book on it from the Telus World of Science and now I hooked. I went further when I picked a book from my school library titled, Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies. Never thought there could be so much incarnations of one topic. So here's a list of one of them. The werewolf. Ever since the days of superstition, old wives tales, and other Mumbo Jumbo, this creature has always sent chills down our spine. I am doing this list based on a combination of uniquity, recognition, and most of all

Scare factor. ooooOOOOOOoooo

So I introduce to Steeleopedia's very own top 5 werewolves, *duh duh dunnnn*

Number 5

Lycaon

This list wouldn't be complete without the dude who put the 'Lycan' in Lycanthrope. The story goes that the King of Arcadia kept testing Zeus with unspeakable acts of violence, he then crossed the line when he tried to serve Zeus with roasted flesh from one of his guests. Instead of turning into something decent like a toad or a nice bouquet of flowers. He turns him into the stuff of children's nightmares. Yeesh, I'd rather be bitten by one of arachne's spiders.

Number 4

Je rouges

As if you thought mind control, voodoo and stabbing dolls weren't bad enough, Voodoo has its own malevolent creatures. Most notably, the Je Rouges. Au Francias for 'Red Eyes.' And let me tell you something, moi doesn't want to meet one. Non, Je ne pas, you name it. 

Thank you 3 years of elementary French. 

This devil has the conventional stuff, evil spirits, one bite; one of them, you get the idea. But the worst part is, it has a knack for abduction. NO seriously. It would just go up to a parent in the middle of the night and ask to take the kid(s). If you had any sense you would say no, but thanks to the magical powers of post sleep confusion, the statistics(if there are any) say otherwise. 

We'll get back to the french later on number une. 

Number 3

Adlet

You think after the minotaur that people would know better than to *ahem* make out with animals; right?... RIGHT?! We'll someone forgot to tell the Inuit that. The story goes that a women fell in love with a red dog, and because screw you biology, bore his children.  They were very bizarre, looking like a canine as much as a person. So they abandoned them, leaving them for dead in the wilderness, right?... RIGHT?!

Spoilers: they live. The adlets weren't too bad. Because they were only 5 of them...



Until they started to mate. 

Nice going with your example Minos. *sarcasm*

Number 2

Volkodlak

You know what's worse than your typical wolfskin werewolf?

How about one that, oh I don't know...


TURNS INTO A FREAKIN' VAMPIRE AFTER YOU KILL IT!!!!!


You heard me correctly folks of the world wide web.
This thing can turn into a vampire after it's killed and can still turn into a wolf whenever it dang well pleases. The good news is it can be stopped by placing a coin in the mouth, so I hope you got some loose change on you. If you don't kill the vampire properly, the cycle will begin ALL OVER AGAIN! 

But what keeps it at number two is the fact it doesn't exist like 3,4, and 5




Unlike...

dun



dun





duuuuuuuuunnnnnnn...

Number 1

The Beast of Gevaudan

 What happens you get your typical wolf but then nature says "screw you"?

You get this monstrosity. It wouldn't be so scary if it weren't for one tiny detail...


IT WAS REAL!!!!!!!


*Toccata and Fugue music*

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ON ITS TRACK RECORD



A study in '87 showed it was responsible for 210 ATTACKS! With 113 deaths and 49 injuries, stretching over 90km!!

It wasn't until a lucky shot from a heroic frenchman was when the attacks came to an end; and it just so happened to be silver; FREAKIN' silver!

These facts alone is why it deserves to be in the top spot, period, exclamation mark.





Thanks for viewing, I'll see you next time.

Ender's Game review *SPOILERS*

Hello and welcome to another book critique and I will be doing the brainchild of masterful author and LDS member Orson Scott Card: Ender's Game. We step into the shoes of Ender Wiggin, a six year old struggling with his dysfunctional family, and a a bully which he beats to death, yeesh. However that doesn't stop from being drafted by the military, in which me makes new friends and enemies and survives the ordeals ahead. His god like intellect allows him to beat the games they have they have there and emerge with him and his teams on top. No matter what kind of new thing the commanders throw at him, he always finds a way to overcome. Back at home his older siblings talk about something called Locke and Demosthenes which is leading to tension among the I.F. and Second Warsaw Pact. When Ender and his sister do get to meet after a few long years, it seems to her that Ender has changed drastically, and maybe not for the better. Sometime later he is promoted to a Commander of the Fleet and sent to war against and intelligent arthropod race called in slang as 'buggers.' Once again he overcomes those trials and as the final challenge destroys a simulation of the bugger homeworld. But SPOILERS...

It wasn't a game.

Quality of Writing: Brilliant

Pacing: Top Notch

Plot: Kept me on the edge of my seat

Characters: memorable

Enjoyability: exceeded expectations 

Insightfulness: not to shabby

Ease of reading: Hard to understand at times 

Morals: Around PG-13 levels which is suprising even for a member of the church!

Verdict: a great read but I advise caution for younger viewers.

War of the Worlds review

I'm so SOOOO sorry on the delay, I just ran out of ideas. But anyway here I am. Now for those of you who don't know, I am a voracious reader, did you know my first book was Frankenstein. After that I was hooked, expanding my literate appetite even further, flipping through numerous books and iconic novels, and now this. It opens in late 19th century England with the martian landing and to no surprise things go downhill fast, things really get interesting when I get to see the martians use their heat ray, a toxin called black smoke, the iconic tripods.

Ahhhh, bliss

The British army is helpless to fight them off and it ends badly with thousands cut down like what in a field. The narrator wanders through the desolation, running into an artilleryman and curate. His brother thankfully manages to flee the country, others weren't so lucky. As if you thought extermination wasn't bad enough in book 2 (earth under the martians) the extraterrestrials begin rounding up those who weren't lucky enough to be dead, and terraforming the place with umm... red weed? Heck they even crafted their own city near London. However in the end the martians began leaving as soon as they came because they have zero immunity to the pathogens that we have endured for so long, when the narrator found that out, he shouted my favourite line that went something like this: "why bother with guns when all we had to do was just sneeze on them." This isn't just another typical sci-fi work, as it also explores the issues of Social Darwinism, colonial and imperialism, and natural selection.

Quality of writing: you know what to expect from H G Wells

Pacing: Pitch perfect

Plot: Very intriguing in a genre that can be very cliche

Characters: Enjoyed the Narrators adventures

Enjoyability: Very much so

Insightfulness: Very good

Ease of reading: Easy to understand for novel from 1898

Morals: It's from the 19th century, what would you expect?

Just so you know this was done on my 'The Book Lover's Journal: my personal reading record

Some random humor: jokes of the week merged into one

What is a clumsy man's favorite place to vacation?

Trip-oili

What do you call a Republican who is a pain in the rear?

An elephant in the room

What is a skin condition favourite horror movie?

The Exor-cyst

How come rubber bands are so deceptive?

They Stretch the truth

How come rubber bands are so deceptive?

They Stretch the truth

How does a farmer examine dead bodies?

With a ne-crop-sy.

What did some mud do when it saw a nice painting.
It admired it