The world of horror literature is filled with terrifying fantastical creatures from zombies to werewolves to malignant tentacle-faced Gods. Vampires are no exception, and with that, there is a whole ocean of vampire fiction to choose from.
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| Some are good... |
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| Some are Fantastic!! |
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| and the others are... a punching bag for the internet |
So, in the eternal pursuit of ecstasy and to avoid the ridicule of quarter-witted teenagers and young adults, (get it? because it’s less than half) you need to go far back.
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| No, further. |
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| NOT THAT FAR!!! |
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| Yes, that's the one. |
Like many other milestones of their genres, Dracula wasn’t the first vampire novel; it was the first one that mattered. Back in the good ol’ days vampires weren’t these farcical, chiseled, romantic figures, but rather they were nothing more than THE DISCIPLES OF PERDITION!! But after a hundred and twenty-eight years does this gold fleck in a giant pan of mud stand up? Well, "Off we go into the wild blue yonder" as the American Air Force says.
Our tale begins with a humble man by the name of Jonathan Harker traversing the Romanian landscape to meet our titular blood-sucker in his own castle. For what reason you may ask? FLIPPIN’ REAL ESTATE IN ENGLAND. As negotiations are progressing Harker starts to notice some funny things about his client. He never meets in daylight, has no reflection and an uncanny attraction to blood. Also, he can climb walls like a gecko as if the last three weren’t strange or scary enough. After an encounter with the Count’s *ahem* sisters, he makes preparations to make a one way trip to Screwthatistan and high tail out of there, just barely making it out. If I were him I would’ve just dashed out there shouting YOU’LL NEVER HAVE ME ALIVE...
OR DEAD FOR THAT MATTER!!!!
But Harker’s relief is short lived as a few chapters later the Count is traversing towards England and upon his arrival --seeing how he’s basically Satan’s poker buddy-- it’s not long before fecal matter hits the ceiling fan (not that they had them back then anyway).
What follows is a story our heroes will never forget.
Now surrounding this age old tale is an important question that applies to the entire genre of horror:
...is it scary??
No...
This thing is SPINE-CHILLING, people of the internet, even after almost a hundred and thirty years it still managed to unsettle me significantly. The bleak environment of late Victorian England and the very character of the Count himself only spikes up the tension. It is here where many essential elements of vampire lore came to place such as shape-shifting, a weakness to sunlight, being allergic to crosses, and having a command over the vermin of the world such as rats, bats, wolves and occasionally a few unlucky gypsies. Which only makes me wonder how he even recruited them in the first place??
WANTED
Able-bodied men, with unwavering loyalty, and a proficiency in knife-fighting and carrying heavy loads.
If interested please register on the creepy, lone castle in the Carpathian mountains (you’ll know it when you see it)
P.S. make sure you’re not followed.
Try getting that into the classified section.
Speaking of character, or character development and the protagonists in general. Twists and turns were fraught throughout the story and, like the previous text, I genuinely cared about the main characters. My personal favourite was Abraham Van Helsing with a charismatic personality and an attitude that could make hell sing; (ha, ha, ha, I’m sorry). But what’s also interesting is that although it is a first person point of view, you witness the story from multiple journal entries, diary pages, newspapers, a captain’s log, and even telegrams (it’s like texting in the 19th and 20th centuries except it didn’t utterly ravage the English language).
All in all, if you’ve got the time and money, you should definitely pick this up.
My score: Straight A (it would have A + but the blood bank was... out of... I’ll shut up.)
