A Week in Paradise: My Trip to the Bahamas

This Spring Break my family and I are in the Bahamas (as if Hawaii wasn't enough) and let me tell you I'm having the time of my life. But why should I keep these experiences to myself? So I've made a little travel diary, in which I can keep track what has happened over this fine holiday. This deals with the first two days. There will be more along the way as the days go by and let me tell you, that you and I are going to be in for a treat. So hey, I'm the man of Steele for my very own Bahamas travel diary: part 1.

Travel Diary: Bahamas

Saturday 

Dear Diary,

Would you believe it; that I'm already in the Bahamas today. My parents have abandoned their usual tradition of going on vacation and deserting me and my siblings to the place I'm forced to call home, and have decided to take all of us to Paradise (or one of them since I've been to Hawaii, but you get the idea). The flight was a usual, annoying, egregious concoction of noise, lousy posture and juvenile delinquency (by that I mean all the noisy kids that serve as for me a good enough contraceptive). Thankfully before too long it was over, and we could actually focus on having a great vacation. We got a taxi driver who I swear sounds like Morgan Freeman, and started grocery shopping. The crazy thing with this place, for some reason the water is unsafe from the tap so you have to get it at the supermarket; or as I like to call it flat out *bleep*ing extortion. Still, I'm looking forward my first Caribbean trip. I'll write to you tomorrow

Sincerely,

 The Man of Steele

Sunday

Dear Diary,

I think I'm warming up to this little part of the Caribbean (that or it's just my sunburn). Sunday was a rather memorable one. In the morning we actually went to church to celebrate Easter Sunday, however the nearest LDS church was in the capital on the main island. I assure you I'm not "going rogue" as you might put it, we decided it would be good if our family did something spiritual this Easter. Church was nice, they had a video on one of the returned missionaries service in Haiti; some colourful music praising God; and the kind of things what I would find in my own church service. After that we then rented a golf cart and did some sightseeing around town but the fun part was when we went snorkeling in the cay next to the resort. It wasn't as vibrant as Hawaii, but it made up for it in a big. Believe it or not I actually saw a sea turtle when I was in the cay, but it was pretty shy and it swam away. After that we hang around the house, dined on some homemade pizzas that mom made and headed to bed. What more can I say; I'm going to be in for a treat here.

Sincerely,

The Man of Steele

Tuesday

Dear Diary,

After a ho-hum Monday things really stepped up on the fun factor in Tuesday. It was off to a welcoming start with today's snorkel trip having an exciting encounter with a stingray; in fact so exciting that my exclamations could be heard throughout the whole bloody beach! It got better in the afternoon with our trip to the blue hole. What the blue hole is, is basically a large pond, not very big lengthwise, but what it lacks in diameter in has in depth. The thing is two hundred feet deep, and littered with all sorts of caverns and tunnels. So yeah it was fun except for when I met my nemesis: a literally bloodthirsty horsefly. But the best part was in the evening when the weather presented            

a spectacular thunderstorm. Believe me I haven't seen one like it since I was twelve. Seriously it was nasty. Check out this clip below, I'm sure it'll be an enriching experience; and turn up the volume as well.

Friday

Dear Diary,

You will not believe what I did today. Mom and Dad had saved the best for last: a boat trip that would take us to some once in a lifetime experiences. A first we did a little snorkeling, that resulted in Sophia getting the best sand dollar in the whole trip. Things really started getting good when we got to witness Abaco's swimming pigs (no seriously, swimming pigs). So how it works, is that there's a little isle that home to a bunch of pigs that tourists stop by to feed. If you're lucky and hold out a sausage (what my family fed them despite my concerns about cannibalism) while your waist or knee deep they'll swim out to eat it. As fun as that was the best part came when when we traveled to Man Jack Key. The shallows were filled with stingrays who would swim up a eat whatever chunks of fish or squid you had in you hand. I got to feed three of them myself but one of them was a little pushy (literally) and shoved my from my backside. It got better when we went snorkeling in the water, where I encountered rays that were as big as me! But it hit a climax later on as I got to swim with fracking nurse sharks in the reef. And put sprinkles on the icing, two green sea turtles just so happened to be in the area as well! As much as I hate to say but this place is 4x better than Oahu if not 5! Shame this is my last day here, and I wish my parents move here, but that's life. Until next trip see you later, I've got some American Netflix to watch.

Top 5 Super Bowl Ads 2016

Sure the Super Bowl was less a month ago but I don’t care. Going on for 50 years this has brought us heart-wrenching defeats, ecstasy inducing victories, nail-biting tension and above ads; lots and lots of ads. I meant to put this on after the Super Bowl but however because I’m an intensive care patient struggling with the virulent disease known as procrastination, well here it is now. So hey I’m the Man of Steele for Steeleopedia’s Top 5 favourite Super Bowl 50 ads.

5. The Longest Chase-Toyota

The story goes that a gang of bank robbers are running out to their getaway vehicle when it just so happens to get towed before their eyes. So they run from Johnny Law looking for a escape car when they come across a Prius? The gang carjacks it and so begins a comedic run from the law while the same time they car they’re driving in becomes a sort of viral thing around the world.

See for yourself, I’m sure it’ll be an enriching experience.

https://youtu.be/MYeM-8hO3hM

4. Ant-man vs Hulk: Coca-Cola

By the the time Coke showed of their ad, we were thirsty for more than just Cola. It’s natural for companies to have their products integrated with entertainment and Coke just so happened to by my favourite. How it’s goes is The Hulk and the Ant-Man are battling over a can of sugared water, and what happens is just fun to watch. Hopefully this will make the wait for Captain America: Civil War more endurable.

https://youtu.be/OlZqBR3yTiw

3. Hunters: Toyota again

Toyota takes another spot on this, continuing where they left off on The Longest Chase. With the Stolen Prius still on the run and becoming a viral hit, the 5-O decides it’s going to have to take desperate measures. What’s their ‘desperate measures’ you ask?

Okay are you ready for this?

They use THE EXACT SAME CAR AS THE BANK ROBBERS!?

What unfolds is just...

just watch.

https://youtu.be/BGNahDImVhs

2. First Date: Hyundai

Now Toyota might’ve had the best Car ad on this list if it weren’t for another Auto maker: Hyundai. As funny as the Prius ads were, Hyundai just manages to soar over them with their ad which so happens to star Kevin Hart above all people. So it goes that a dad is experiencing his daughter go out on her first date, and her date has the pleasure of taking the dad’s car: a hyundai (OBVIOUSLY). But as I’m guessing most parents are, the father is a little overprotective. So much so that he uses Hyundai’s new Car Finder feature to follow the dating couple wherever they go.

It’s a joy to watch just click the link below and see for yourself .

https://youtu.be/-R_483zeVF8

 

1. Ultrasound: Doritos

Was there any doubt? I’m not gonna lie these guys -when it comes to ads- have have never failed to deliver *cue laugh track*. Taking place in a maternity clinic, a happy couple is expecting their newest arrival into their family and is looking at their child via Ultrasound. But the soon-to-be father just so happened to bring so Doritos into the room. Come on, you know what to expect.

https://youtu.be/ugn_qmQ0NFo

REBOOT POST: Top 7 Monstrous Star Wars Moments that Scared the Plasma out of Me

The Wait is OVER!!

So so so so so SO sorry I kept you waiting, but hey, I'm back. 2016, love it or hate it, the new year is here, as well as a New Years resolution to keep working on this forsaken piece of code. How many of you have seen the new Star Wars? I'm guessing a lot of you, but the important thing is that it's back in business baby. Love or hate it this iconic franchise has been an icon of Hollywood and science fiction. Since 1977 it keeps finding ways to dazzle us with its striking locations, memorable characters, and engaging lore. It made us cry, it made us laugh, smile, and even recoil of in terror. This list deals with the last part. Since I was young and foolish child this series has constantly found new ways the scare the living plasma out of me with the beasts that have 'graced' the TV screen weather they be practical or CGI, and has left nothing short of mental scarring and an occasional emptying of the rectum. For this list, There are two rules to this: we're dealing with films only, and no "scary for the wrong reasons" B.S. So hey, I'm The Man of Steele for Steeleopedia's Top 7 Monstrous Star Wars Moments.

Number 7

The Dianoga

IT came from beneath the waste

There are plenty of locations in the galaxy that give home to creatures whose sole purpose in life is to give you a horrible agonizing death. They can be found in swamps, oceans, deserts you name it, but what planet destroying space stations? It is on the correctly named Death Star that you another kind of death, one that the bajillion stormtroopers, turbo laser mounts, bottomless pits and ticked-off Sith Lords fail to offer.  Enter the Dianoga: a tentacled octopus-like creature usually found in garbage dumps. Their diet consists of garbage, more garbage, and unlucky Jedi trainees who just so happen to stumble into the trash compactor where it lives. The monster's attempt to drown was scary on it's own and that periscope eye.

Yeah, I prefer being shot by Space Nazis; if they can even land a dang shot (*canned laughter*)! Also drowning in that sludge; that's scary on its own

Number 6

The Nexu, and the Acklay

Sweet Dreams Guys

Now all the Star Wars films have there own little fear-inducing moments and the prequels are no-exception, as if they weren't already scary enough (for the wrong reasons however). It was during the development of Attack of the Clones where the guys at Lucasfilm were all like "Okay our heroes have been captured by the bad guys, so what should they do with them," then one guy is all "Hey, here's an idea, how they put them into an Execution Arena, and instead of gallows or beheading or something clean, the antagonists throw in a four eyed tiger with two tails and quills, all while oversized dragonflies cry out there bloodlust!" and then some other twit is like "But why should stop there!" and so the Nexu and Acklay were born. Two child-traumatizers in one scene; what's not to like. As scary as heck as it was, it didn't make it any higher because it actually wasn't the first time this was done, and the fact that there was a third crime against nature but that was nothing more than a three-horned bull.

Number 5

Opee Sea Killer, Colo Claw Fish and the Sando Aqua Monster

Move over Jaws. 

You thought two beasts weren't bad enough, well screw you cause they've threw in three. Bodies of water have long been used as a horror device because there is just so unsettling about it liquid nature, near opaqueness and the very inability for us to breathe it. So for the sake of being A-holes the guys at Lucasfilm decided to throw in their own little sea monster (more like monsters) into the mix. Our protagonists, a just heading along to Theed in a local submarine when all the sudden a giant crustacean comes out of the blue (or black for that matter) and attempts to devour them! Enter the Opee Sea Killer, which as one site calls it "The ultimate nightmare of every ichthyophobe." The worst part about them is that they're not even at the top of the bloody food chain. They get eaten by Colo Claw Fishes, and those end up in the bellies of Sando Aqua Monsters. It one thing when you're in a arena, it's another when your kilometres under the dark ocean and that at any moment your sub can turn into a water filled coffin. Also worth mentioning is the fact they attempted to kill the 21st century Jim Crow and fanboy punching bag Jar Jar (frackin') Binks; that deserves some credit if you ask me.

Number 4

Rathtars

You think because the franchise was forked over to Disney that they wouldn't scar children for life in Episode 7 right?...

WRONG!! Let's not forget were talking about the guys that were responsible for crap like Bald Mountain in Fantasia, The hallucinations in Dumbo, Pleasure Island in Pinocchio, etc, etc, etc. Also they're world class parent killers, so it should be NO surprise that they would give the green light to my number 4 spot. Oh, and don't get me started on what J.J. Abrams had to offer before this film.

JUST LOOK AT THIS THING!!

No seriously, just take a good long regretful look at this thing. Seriously it's like the Kraken from the second Pirates of the Caribbean had a love affair with Attack of the Killer (frackin') Tomatoes! They're a giant mass of tentacles, insect eyes, and slow agonizing death that roll around look for their next victim; nothing more, nothing less. Even more frightening is that some boneheads pay boneheaded sums of money to keep them as EXOTIC PETS!! On top of that one of those boneheads just so happen to be our favourite Corellian smuggler: Han Solo!...

...Wait, that shouldn't be a shock at all.

Number 3

Rancor

If you are a big fan of researching all the mumbo jumbo the franchise has to offer, you'll notice that every planet in some way wants you to book and early trip to Heaven (or Hell). However none seem to do it more creatively than Tatooine. You got scorching heat, lack of water, rowdy cantina patrons, and ticked off nomads. Every place has claimed a name and some have claimed even more; which brings us to Jabba's palace. Remember that scene in a new hope when Kenobi had this to say about Mos Eisley "You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." oh my dear Ben you have not been to Jabba's palace. Yeah, I'm talking about crap like robbers, bounty hunters, murderers, and sentient machines that torture their own kind for fun apparently, and sleazy dancers who the carnal slime ball can't help but have 'feelings' for (if you know what I mean *wink*). 

Even for a criminal Jabba is a well respected man or in this case slug, but he has an ill temper to match. If I was a crime lord and I was in charge of a double-crosser's fate it would just be a shot to the head and a decent funeral, but the Hutt has his ways. One of them is dropping you from his throne room into...

...the pit! *Toccata and Fugue music*. 

It could've had anything merciful and instantaneous like a lava pool or a cluster of spikes;... 



...ha ha ha NO! Instead we're treated to this thing.

It's official: The Devil walks among  us us.

Like something out of a mid 1900's monster flick, the Rancor is truly a force to be reckoned with. Mindless, enraged and constantly looking for it's next meal in the form of dancers unwilling to *ahem* 'make love'; unlucky guards; and aspiring Jedi Knights. I mean this thing nearly stopped me from watching Return of the Jedi, and that alone is the reason why it deserves to be so high on this list.

Number 2

Abominable Snowman; EAT YOUR HEART OUT!

Wampa

Unfortunately the Rancor wasn't the first time Lucasfilm gave us fanged, lumbering abominations. Now that you've seen it's picture you're all probably wondering, "well how can you put the freakin' Abominable Snowman over the Rancor." Well, let me tell you, that it's what we don't see that terrifies us. One of the main factors is the biosphere it resides in. Having a white coat of fur, it blends in perfectly with it's surroundings, making it the perfect ambush predator. As you can't see *bleep* in the merciless weather, the Wampa can just stroll right up and you wouldn't even notice until your mount smelt something bad in the air, and by bad I mean murderous, not the other kind of bad.        

The worst part is unlike the Racor where it had the decency to bit the victim in half to stop it struggling down it's throat, it just drags your unconscious body to its lair like a cow to the slaughterhouse. 

Now you're probably saying out of your trembling mouth...

...what could be worse?

Number 1

Sarlacc

WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW!!??

As if I thought Jabba in Return of the Jedi couldn't get any scarier, the movie just says "screw you" and gives us the top spot. There are two kinds of people in Star Wars, those who tick Jabba off; and those who REALLY tick Jabba off. You thought the Rancor was bad, please the top spot will make the Racor pit look merciful by comparison. If you're really unlucky to land in the latter category, you would be VERY unlucky to be taken to his OTHER pit! The Great Pit of Carkoon is just that, a pit; but there's more to it. It's home to the Sarlacc, basically a circular maw in the ground with teeth and tentacles that Jabba-watching from his Barge- watches his henchmen push off a skiff holding the poor sucker(s) into.  But what seals the deal is...

...I'll let C-3PO do the talking

"In his belly you will find a new definition of suffering; as you are slowly digested over a *stammers* thousand years."

YOU HEARD THAT CORRECTLY!! Practically redefining "a fate worse than death" that alone puts it on top. Now some of you viewers might say "well what if die of starvation or dehydration" yeah well I hate to put your comforting thoughts to rest, this beast keeps its victims alive for the whole unbearable 'experience'. On top of that the creature is a semi-sentient sadist due to the fact it tortures it's victims mentally as somehow accesses the victim's consciousness. NOW you see why it's up here! For as bad as Jabba's henchmen can be you got to feel sorry for all the ones that fell into the maw. Also Boba Fett escaped from this thing after he got eaten: that only makes the creature more famous (or infamous if you prefer)

Thanks for being patient with me, I'll be back with more posts sooner or later. But hopefully sooner.

Until then, see you next time.

Mountain of Madness (I'm kidding, it was fun)

Sorry I kept you people waiting I had a lot on my mind over the past several weeks but here I am again. Anyway, this isn't a review of an H.P. Lovecraft story this instead is me and my scout group adventures on Mount Robson. In August I got to head down to B.C. to Robson, a provincial park with a hiking trail supposed to be second to none and let me tell you it lived up to the hype.  Fun fact the very peak of Mount Robson wasn't seen for 65 days so it was a sight to behold.

When I arrived at the foot of it's gorgeous peak, skepticism flew south for winter and that was just the icing on the cake. We weren't going to simply hike up the whole trail & back that was reserved for the suckers in the other group, instead we got fly up in frickin' helicopter, sparing us the agonizing hike up.

After settling down at out campground at Berg Lake we took the luxury of hiking up to Toboggan falls (not that were sledding down it any time soon)

 and admiring all of God's delicate work and relishing in the bounty.

*chuckle* am I right

 A little ways up when came across a cavern; we probably wouldn't have ventured far if another group hadn't told us about an opening a little ways in that allowed us to venture deeper into the cavern until we chickened out at least. I learned something that little detour: iPhones make good spelunking tools.

Also on the way back down, my father got to teach me the one of the most most essential tools a male could learn: the farmer's blow (as long as no one's around to look at me in disgust). After that we reached our campsite and settled in for the night but not before posing at the B.C.-Alberta border, though I can't decide which is better.

Anyone one want to flip a coin of pick apart flower petals

 After a nourishing breakfast of fruit cups and cinnamon flavoured oatmeal, we headed out to our next camp at Whitehorn. Along the way we got to stop at a couple places some people won't see in their lifetimes including Berg Lake and Emperor Falls. Berg Lake earned it's name because next to the lake is a glacier that constantly has ice chunks fall into its frigid waters that look like icebergs, earning the name Berg Lake.

A few hours later we met the other scout group all sweaty and exhausted and had lunch together. When they were asked if they could do the same hike again they said they would prefer the other group.

After that we headed down to emperor falls, one of the best known falls in the provincial park, in fact the best known waterfall. It truly a sight to behold if you were brave enough the handle the spray, I mean you could stand near it for a few minutes and come out looking like you went under the waterfall itself (but who's that flippin' suicidal).

We then made it to Whitehorn and camped for the night. Thankfully the next hike was the last and let me tell you I was relieved. When headed down a no less scenic trail and finished off our little adventure with a well deserved trip to Miette hot springs and the welcoming sights of wildlife.

Do you think this is healthy for them  to lick the salt under the vehicles?

Houseboating: a Memoir

Last week I got to go to Shuswap lake, a remarkable body of water in the Okanagan area. But I wasn't going there like the typical Thunder//Waterton lake experience; we were going houseboating! So there we were heading off to BC but not before a night's stop at Lake Louise and an enjoyable watch of Criminal Minds. After another scenic drive we arrived at our destination and had some locally made ice cream while we waited to get on board the most memorable boat named ever coined in the nautical world that I've heard so far: No Bullship *giggle*. So that was that and we were off to enjoy the wonders and memories that awaited us. After a good night's rest we awoken to head to the next cove but not before getting supplies from a floating store (DREAM JOB!) When we sailed into the cove we were fascinated at the sight of hundreds of trout just swimming to where we docked, some over a foot long. So that inspired us to go fishing for the next three days with successful results. The days went by being hasted by the activities of sliding, fishing, reading and some nasty Swimmer's Itch. I got to read Ian Fleming's Casino Royale and Live and Let Die, continue my hobby of completing sudoku puzzles watching John Wick (the morality isn't high don't see it,) and discovering my passion for digital solitaire. Unfortunately we had to leave the area and move on though. The next day we had the joy of heading on a hike to see so beautiful falls (not me I was already a victim of heat exhaustion at the time but dad made me go anyway *grunt*.) The hike was decent, the heat; whoever is in charge of the weather there, GET HIM SACKED! So i headed back on my own much to the expense of my family who was concerned about my whereabouts and state of health, but I made it through just fine. A couple days later we headed back home but not before stopping at the spiral tunnels where just to our luck a train trekked through with perfect timing. Hopefully next time my parents won't go there sans enfants/teenagers.

My 10 favourite vacations

Hello internet I'm back once again. Now as you must know from the blog, my family loves to go on vacations, if that isn't already obvious enough, so why not make a list about my favourite trips? We're doing this based on a concoction of memorability, overall fun I had, timelessness, etc. 

So without further ado, here we go.



Number 11


Marmot Basin


You're probably wondering why the best winter vacation I had is so low. Just goes to show how much wickedly epic vacations I had. There's nothing more pleasant than just racing down with the fresh powder beneath your feet, the occasional anti-avalanche explosion, seeing the very summit itself and the wide variety of trails, twists and turns to choose from. It doesn't stop with skiing as there's a wide variety of activities wildlife scenery and dining to make your day a feel like a journey to paradise.


Number 10

Egypt

"Steele you Bonehead, this list is bolshevik because you put a once in a lifetime trip like Egypt in frackin' 10th." Oh for the love Sodom and Gomorrah people you got to respect people's opinions for what they are. Now before you send the hate mail clogging my account, I'll kindly explain why this isn't any higher on the list. Now listen it was fantastic, I mean, come on how many people get to see the Pyramids, the Sphinx, the Nile, and the Egyptian museum in one day, but that was the problem, it was only for one day. There's so much to do, yet so little time. Also even though the riots scared of the crowds of tourists, there was still the desperate vendors to do that job, so desperate that I was nearly abducted by a camel rider. You happy now? Good, moving on.


Number 9

Northwest Territories

Venturing away from the equator for once is this beauty. I travelled there when my sister was in Hawaii, and let me tell you it was fantastic. There was the scenery, historical sites and dining but the best part was the fishing. At first this was an attempt to teach me patience (that failed miserably.) As I caught fish like every 5 minutes or so and awe-inspiring lengths. It's also where I caught that 42 frackin' incher that had had the guide rushing for the scale. 
Number 8

Hawaii

The first stop on the around the world in several weeks trip, and let me tell you it was an utter blast. Snorkelling in the oceans, trying SUP for the first time, celebrating Independance Day by watching Independance Day (the movie with Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum) and jumping in a cage and watching the Galapagos Sharks swim by. I also can't wait to go there in thanksgiving.


Number 7

London

Now, I come from a line of British, Scottish, and even Norman royalty. So it would make sense to go to England, and that's what we did in our last around the world vacation stop. We got to see Buckingham, Westminster, the Nelson memorial, the Great Fire of 1666 memorial, the Churchill War Rooms, Big Ben, the London Eye, Globe Theater, Tate Modern and last but most certainly not least, THE Imperial War Museum. Need I say more?


Number 6

California

Sure there may be a drought and all that BS but who cares, the vacation was fantastic. As you seen in the post 'the Ultimate California Vacation' my trip to the (former) Bear Flag Republic was one that created many lasting memories. Monteray Bay Aquarium, PB&J soda, Oakland Temple, Alcatraz, The Golden Gate Bridge, Deep sea fishing, bow riding dolphins, Seal Beach, Elephant Seals on the Pacific Coast Highway, Sea Lions, 4th of July fireworks. It has it ALLLLL!! One of my favourite visits the US. 

Speaking of...
Number 5

USA Roadtrip

My first vacation south of the Border was one also worth mentioning. After crossing into Montana, I had NO idea of what great times the next few days were go. Jackson Hole, Yellowstone National Park, Grand Canyon, my second taste of California (I went there one time when I was 2), Hoover dam (I wasn't 'anti-cursing' that time), and freaking Salt Lake City. There was just one minor downside; FRACKIN' SIN CITY (I'm sorry a temple and the thousands of mormons do not outweigh the millions of lustful, alcoholic, psychotic, money-wasting sociopaths. Number 4

Barrhead & Magrath

Now this might be one of the less exotic on the post, so why is it so high up? Two words; sheer timelessness. There's just something so special about having nature surround me as I walk into the welcoming homes and arms of my grandparents. With the wildlife eyeing you at every turn, the calming lack of frantic city chaos. The inviting waters of both Thunder & Waterton lake all make up a recipe for paradise.
Number 3

Turkey

I'm practically quarter-blood turkish so why not this beauty (heh, quarter blood; it's less than half.) As if having a hotel only a minute away from the Blue Mosque wasn't fantastic enough, we also got to see the Naval Museum, Hagia Sophia (to the delight of my sister who also bears the latter name) Turkazoo, the Egyptian Obelisk, Topkapi Palace, Snorkelling in the Mediterranean Sea, and having a cave hotel while in Cappadocia. What could be better? Only the next two.

Number 2

Thailand

I bet you if heaven is going to resemble ANY place in the world it would be Thailand without a doubt. After an energy draining airport wait at Manila, it all paid of when we reached Bangkok. Agh, where to start?!  The Elephant Camp in Chiang Mai, Sightseeing in Bangkok, snorkelling in the Indian Ocean, the butterfly gardens, a fish farm, the Golden Triangle, a small tour of Laos, Emerald Pool, and the Bridge on the River Kwai! (Still need to see the movie.) Now you're wondering what could possibly be better than that.

Number 1

Utah


Sure it may have any of the stuff on the previous ten locations, but spiritually it tops them all. It warms my heart to walk on the hallowed ground of the Utah temple and see General Conference in PERSON, and doing family history in the FHC. Also much of my church friends and their fathers (my mother and sister couldn't come along) had the pleasure of going there in a motorhome! 

Thanks for reading I'll see you next time.

Top 10 Book of Mormon Antagonists

Hello people of the world, I'm back once again for another top list. Now as you must know, no work of fiction, (or non-fiction for this matter) is complete without a classic tale of the typical good vs. evil.  There's plenty of it in this work of art. So it's my pleasure to introduce Steeleopedia's Top 10 BoM Antagonists. *dun dun dunnnnnn*


Number 11

Sherem

Jacob 7

Kicking off the list is an Anti-Christ, and get used to it because he won't be the last. Around the time of Jacob he appears out of nowhere and tells the world that, there is no such thing as a Christ, nor there ever will be. When the prophet gets word of this they had a debate until Sherem demanded of sign of God. With one lift of Jacob's arm, he's struck down and dies later. Then everything was back to the way it was.

If only it were that simple for the rest on this post.


Number 10

Nehor

Alma 2

*Sigh* another freaking Anti-Christ. I'll tell you why this tops Sherem. In Alma chapter 2 he shows up saying that there IS a God and saviour...

but in the end everyone will be saved. So basically there's no such thing as Hell. Now the (obvious) reason why it's so bad is because what's the point in being good if you be raised into heaven anyway. Now let me tell you something his temper was as short as his honesty. A man by the name of Gideon basically calls him a fraud and Nehor doesn't take it so well, so he cuts him down. He's tried for his crimes, found guilty, and executed. However even though he died, his teachings did not. His followers then persecuted the saints and dissension was ripe. They even went to form the city of Ammonihah; which went well (that's sarcasm, they went the way of Sodom and Gomorrah and were destroyed.)


Number 9

Amlici

Next up is a dissident; as if they didn't have enough of those. Amlici was a very respected man by many, a celebrity of his time if you may. Then he thought: "Hey, I'm so bloody popular, I should be frickin' king!" Unfortunately for him because it was a democracy, they had to have a vote, and to his surprise, they voted him out. In a flurry of anger he assembles an army to take over the country by force, and not surprisingly he loses. Twice; with the last battle killing him. Oh you just wait, the bloodshed gets worse from here.

Number 8

Zerahemnah

Alma 44

Yet another warmonger. In Alma chapter 31 when the Lamanites and Nephites were at each others throats, this general rose up to take the challenge of conquering Captain Moroni's army.

SPOILERS; he loses. At the Blood-Spill of the River Sidon (as I like to call it) the two armies met with uttermost ferocity. At first the Nephites have the upper hand seeing that they had better armour, to which the Lamanties had forgotten it entirely. But then the Lamanites start fighting like dragons as the book calls it to the point were it doesn't matter, and start routing their enemies. If it wasn't for the inspiring righteousness of Moroni, they might've lost the day. The Nephites have Zerahemnah's army surrounded and demand an end to the slaughter. He refuses and attempts to kill the captain, which fails, resulting in the literal and symbolic cutting of and falling scalp. Seeing they don't want to fall as the general's hair complexion, they all retreat into the wilderness, and peace is restored

Number 7

Laman and Lemuel

1st and 2nd Nephi

Ahhh... now let's go to a classic source of conflict. Freaking sibling rivalry. Around the time when Lehi and his family left into the wilderness to escape Jerusalem to flee to the American Continent (starting the Book of Mormon events) two of his sons weren't so happy leaving everything they had. They hardened their hearts against there father and brother Nephi, and a series of incursions, from open criticism to physical harm. When they reached the promised land, things took a turn for the worse. When Lehi passed away, Nephi received the entitlement of a prophet, and founded a great nation of good people. His brothers were envious, so they broke off with other people and founded the Lamanites with one goal in mind. Take Nephi and the Nephites DOWN! Thus setting of the chain of events that make up the rest of the book.


Number 6


King Noah

Monarchs; what would we do without them. That's was the idea going into everyone's head after this guy took the throne. After his benevolent father passed it was his turn to run the country. I bet the father must've regretted it looking down on him in purgatory.  The man gave the Nephites a bad name with an insatiable appetite for wealth. The taxes were highway robbery, demanding a 1/5th of their gold, silver, grain and animals. It wasn't until the prophet Abinadi came along that his rule started to wane. After a trial far too elaborate to get into now, and a change of heart by one of Noah's priests (Alma) the King had a change of heart as well, until his jury stepped in. So the prophet was burned; quite literally. Thankfully, the King met the same fate at the hands of his servants.

Number 5

Korihor

Alma 30

Oh boy, now were really getting to the heavyweights. The final Anti-Christ on this list, and by far the worst. In Alma 27 he emerges from the cracks of hell saying...

THERE IS NO GOD, NO CHRIST, NO HEAVEN, NO HELL, NO AFTERLIFE; RELIGION IS A LIE!!
He was basically the so called humanists of his day. Because he claimed there's none of the above there's ZERO accountability, NADA! It's scary as heck if you think about it. Worst of all, his teaching continue to thrive to this day!

Thankfully he met his end when he demanded a sign, and he got one; in the form of not being able to speak. Then trampled when begging under the feet of the Zoramite jerks.

Speaking of...


Number 4

Zoramites

Alma 31

The next chapter after that predicament, we get to these boneheads. Originally not to bad, they fell away much to the disdain of God. When Alma investigated this, his heart basically skipped a beat. Once a day they would go to their synagogues and say this travesty of a quote...

15 Holy, holy God; we believe that thou art God, and we believe that thou art holy, and that thou wast a spirit, and that thou art a spirit, and that thou wilt be a spirit forever.

16 Holy God, we believe that thou hast separated us from our brethren; and we do not believe in the tradition of our brethren, which was handed down to them by the childishness of their fathers; but we believe that thou has selected us to be thy holy children; and also thou hast made it known unto us that there shall be no Christ.

17 But thou art the same yesterday, today, and forever; and thou hast elected us that we shall be saved, whilst all around us are elected to be cast by thy wrath down to hell; for the which holiness, O God, we thank thee; and we also thank thee that thou hast elected us, that we may not be led away after the foolish traditions of our brethren, which doth bind them down to a belief of Christ, which doth lead their hearts to wander far from thee, our God.

18 And again we thank thee, O God, that we are a chosen and a holy people. Amen.

Even worse,  they would say it over and over and over until everyone has said it once...

YES, EVERYONE! It's the SAME EVERY TIME!! Another chronic sin is they have a hatred of the poor and basically treat them like dirt; even though they build the churches there in the first place!! They're basically the Wall Street of their day.


Number 3

Amalickiah

Alma 45-48

Ugh, another bloody dissident, and by far the lowest. After the defeat of Zerahemnah, he appears just after the peace was restored and basically decreed that the church was false and began swaying the people's hearts to him. However Cap. Moroni came along decreeing the Title of Liberty (their version of the Constitution saying he's of the devil and wishes to destroy everything the people stand for which sparked a personal vendetta by Amalickiah. But the rogue fled with his followers and used lies, treachery and deceit to convince the Lamanites to go to war; AGAIN. Unfortunately he was successful, and his actions sparked a brutal conflict that lasted years and claimed many souls. His legacy was so evil, even his freakin' BROTHER joined in; which went well (sarcasm.)

Number 2

Ether 13-15

Coriantumr

Now before Lehi and his family landed in America there were actually people to do it before him. Called the Jaredites- after the prophet Jared- they set out to sea after the Tower of Babel debacle. They founded a civilization that lasted for generations; until it fell under the sword. A wave of sin set into the hearts of the rulers and soon a series of generals eventually led the people to water the ground with blood. Coriantumr was one of them. He tops Amalickiah because it's one thing to lead a nation to war, it's another thing to lead a faction to war...


THAT ENDS IN TOTAL EXTERMINATION!!! The violence was so evil that the Spirit of the Lord LEFT THEM COMPLETELY. That's how bad it was. A prophet named Ether warned him of the tragedy of his ways. He didn't listen; and by the time the fighting ended...

he was the last of the Jaredites. That's right; the last. With no one left to start a anew with he was doomed to a life of sorrowful, regretful isolation. To wander the land as the LAST of his kind. That's just saddening. However one manages to top him.

Number 1

Gadianton and his robbers

Helaman 2, 6 & 8 

By the end of Alma's 63 chapters a new deadly force was emerging. How did it start, it all began on a typical day like any other. Everyone was all peaches and cream...

Until the incident! A man by the name of Kishkumen had murdered the Chief Judge who ran the country, and the nation was in chaos. He and his band relished in the moment of triumph. How could it get any worse? A man named Gadianton came along a took over. Using pacts and 'revelations' with the DEVIL HIMSELF, he turned the country upside down with lies, treachery, murder and corruption. His 'Gadianton Robbers' were basically the Mafia and he was the Godfather; managing to gather a large following basicallt saying "I make you a offer you can't refuse" (Get it?) It wasn't until the time of Christ and when he personally came to the people of the continent, were they faded to legend. But they re-emerged 200 years late, causing the single handed destruction of the Nephites! This secret combination (criminal organization) is THE REASON why he's number 1. Need I say more?

Thanks for reading. I'll see you next time.