Why bother apologising, you already get the gig. This is the first part of what’s to come hopefully this month. A riveting account of my time in Thailand.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Bangkok
Dear diary,
After 19+ long hours we finally arrived our destination. It feels so good to be back over half a decade. Even after a coup the place is still magnificent as ever. The next several days were fraught with adventures and day one was no exception; starting off our journey trekking through the brisk 2-and-a-quarter-world morning air after a filling breakfast. One of our main attractions was the Jim Thompson store that sells fine silk furniture, decor, and clothing. I'm not usually a fan of places like these, but here this is the exception. Worth mentioning is that the founder of the company mysteriously vanished back in the sixties. Come on, he probably just came across a nice lady, ditched the company, secretly married and retired to Caribbean; happens all the time.
But the main highlight of the day was the snake just a 30 feet away from the store. Nothing more than admiring the numerous species to be found and seeing a snake show later on. It was daunting to see than handlers practically spit in the reaper's face and just taunt the kraits and cobras presented. But the best was holding the python at the end. The farm is also the best place to get bit as it also contains a hospital and a WHO research center for snake bites . 
Not that you want to get bit anyway, I mean who would this appeal to: zealous snake enthusiasts; suicidal idiots; self masochists; would you do it? NO, YOU WOULDN'T BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT BLOODY STUPID!! Still the place was a lot of fun. Too bad there isn't a medicine for getting squeezed to death by the constrictors. Speaking of they release these things into the streets, I'm sure they do wonders about the stray dog problem.
The nothing of interest the following day but the next one was dare I say more riveting. The day begun with a filling trip to the food court; and a pleasant boat ride (shame about the river). One of our main attractions was the luxurious visual ecstasy that was the Great Palace. The buildings were a joy to explore and the artwork decorating it was even more so. 
I also got to learn a shred of thai customs as well. A prominent one was why people are told to kneel not sit when inside the buddhist temples: because apparently showing someone or pointing your feet is the equivalent of a middle finger. So you know how some people would stand leaning on something, one foot completely on the ground and one with the base of the shoe showing; that is the western equivalent of holding a sign that says “*bleep* you”.
Just as interesting was the tour down the canal. Now there was plenty of sightseeing to be had, but the main attraction wasn’t the architecture, but the wildlife that’s found in and alongside the river, most namely monitor lizards and catfish. I must say they must have pretty broad niches for surviving in places like this (see, I have learned something over the school year). Everything was just swell about our adventure, except for the rancid smell and getting splashed by the catfish. What’s in this 2 and a 1/2 world water? Typhoid? Cholera? I probably got a disease now.
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